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" She's a bit young for a nightgown." You know what I mean." My patience was wearing thin. Frustration at thefutility of someone like me raising a child had set it. "Something otherthan pajamas," I said hoping to move on toward our goal.I wrestled with thoughts of jealousy and joy while watching Amanda andthe associate fill the cart with articles of clothing. It had always beenmy dream to have someone to help me shop and now I had to endure the painof watching the kid who I watched over revel in the joy of acquiring anew wardrobe.As articles of kid undergarments found their way into the cart, I thoughtback to the time when I first purchased lingerie. I guessed at the sizebased on the charts in a catalog. She had someone to measure her. Her fitwould be better than mine had been, and I hated her for it. I had the same feelings as we selected shoes. She got measured, while Ihad to use trial and error. Many a pair of unworn shoes had found theirway into a used clothing bin as had. I began to wonder if our friendship couldever continue as it had been.With neither of us speaking, Tom got up and went to the kitchen,probably to get some breakfast. I was kind of relieved when he left.Besides, I was finally alone again.I sat there in my solitary trance again. This time I began to wonder ifI would forever be stuck in the shadow of the person who had onceinhabited this body. I mean, Tom still saw me in a lot of ways as hislittle sister, and I had no doubt the rest of the family felt the sameway. I wanted to be independent of that, be my own person. I didn'twant to lose myself.I was deep in concentration when I heard the front door open. Mrs.Taylor and Robin were back."Jason," Robin said as she came into the room."Yeah?" Get your stuff packed up. We're going to head back to the house." Alright..."I hopped off my spot and went to the pile of clothes. I spotted a pinkbackpack that I figured was probably mine. I stuffed it full of all theclothes I could identify as mine.
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